My one new year's resolution

The last post of the year... What to write about? This was a weird year. There was a pandemic, but at the same time, I’m grateful too. I bought my first home! And started a company. And I met a lot of cool new friends via this newsletter/Twitter/the internet.

In reflecting on how to close out the year, I thought we could keep it simple. I would like to share my new year's resolution with you and hear yours too.

"Resolution" sounds formal and strict and makes you want to break it immediately upon hearing it, so let's say "intention" instead. I've had the same new year's intention for the past few years, and it's continued to improve my life. My new year's intention for 2021 is:

WORRY LESS.

This is for all my overthinkers, over analyzers, and worriers out there. A few years ago, I was struck with a realization. In the middle of my usual cycle of worrying where I could barely hear my own thinking, a little voice inside said, "You don't get paid enough to worry as much as you do."

At first, I felt shock. Then guilt. Then... liberation. Freedom. A swelling sense of moral authority. There's no amount of money that is worth the emotional heaviness of worrying. Put the worry down. Set it over there in the corner.

Of course, what I'm saying depends on your starting point. If you're too nonchalant, crank it up a notch and take more ownership. But if you’re an overachiever who cares too much, making a conscious effort to worry less can improve your work and life. For me, I was able to solve problems faster and more easily. I had more energy because I wasn’t running on a hamster wheel in my own head. I had better relationships because I didn’t let things fester in my mind.

A reader asked, “How will you measure that you have actually worried less in 2021? And what is it that you need to do to keep on track?” I track based on the number of minutes I spend spinning my wheels with loud voices in my head. I catch myself when that starts to happen and when I start to feel a downward spiral gaining speed. I don’t actually count the minutes with a stopwatch, but when I start to worry, I mentally note the amount of time spent worrying. And any number of minutes is too long.

To stop myself in my tracks, I literally remind myself that I don’t get paid enough to spike my cortisol levels (stress hormone). I read that cortisol beyond small doses is pretty bad for your cells, and once I learned that, I thought, “Is this worth damaging my body long term? Nope nope nope.”

It's easy to get carried away if you love your work and care a lot. This is why you have to actively remind yourself to worry less. In 2021, when I catch myself worrying, I’m going to gently remind myself to pause and choose to do the work without the worry.

Thank you for being here, reading, replying, and sharing. I appreciate you and would love to know… What new year's intentions are you excited about?