Case study: Dissecting an everyday story
Getting someone to change their worldview is hard.
When it happens, that’s a big deal. If you can change people’s worldviews regularly, or even once in a while, you will always be in demand.
My friend Nathan posted a quick story about him and his daughter going to the car wash.
It made me pause.
Whenever something makes you pause, think about why. Try to dissect what the person did so you can learn from it. It’s been one of the best ways to stay sharp as a marketer.
Now, let’s take a look at Nathan’s post:
He didn’t get on a soapbox and lecture. What did he do instead?
Here's the text from Nathan’s Facebook post:
This thing about kids and parenting…
My 3 year old daughter is terrified of car washes. In fact, she’s terrified of a lot of things. She watches Daniel Tiger on PBS, and one of the lessons is “when you do something new, let’s talk about what we’ll do.”
One way to help her with fears is to go through the scenario in question before doing the thing, so she is mentally prepared and not surprised by anything. We’ve been talking about car washes for like, two weeks now, and today, she was brave enough to come with me, on the grounds that she would sit in my lap during the car wash portion before I transfer her back to her car seat.
As you can see, she was ready! This way is different than the way I knew, but I don’t think that way was healthy. Sucking it up doesn’t really work for kids. They just learn to internalize it all in and never learn to have better reign over their emotions, from parents who don’t have very good control of theirs. Check: mad dad syndrome, something I have to overcome when I get frustrated.
Parenting is hard, but man, I love being a father to my two kids. Just look at the smile and excitement of this sweetheart!
1. All good stories are about the reader.
Terrified of car washes… Okay, my heart just melted a bit. All of us can relate to being terrified. Maybe not of car washes but of plenty of other things.
On the surface, this is about a 3 year old. But like all good stories, it’s also about the reader.
You see yourself in the story.
Note: When you read the rest of the post, you’ll see yourself in Nathan AND his daughter. You’re empathizing with both of them. It’s brilliant.
At this point, I’m hooked. I want to keep reading.
2. Build trust with the reader.
This section continues to build trust. Without saying it directly, he’s saying “you and I might be similar.” For example, I hate surprises too, so I’m thinking “Yes, you understand me.”
This is what getting in your customers’ head looks like when it’s well executed. You want your readers to feel understood.
When it’s not well-executed, it looks like Facebook ads that are assumptive in the most annoying ways:
“If you’re reading this, I know a few things about you. I know you are an ambitious professional who wants to succeed…”
“Do you want to get to the next level in your business, but aren’t sure what to do?”
“Ever wonder how some entrepreneurs get to the top, but others struggle?”
The best messaging shows restraint. It’s not always direct. It leads you to a conclusion without pushing it in your face.
3. Use words that make your reader feel something—anything.
The fact that they had been talking about car washes for two weeks shows how afraid his daughter was. Great example of “show, not tell.”
The word brave is an emotion-laden word.
There are some words—like nice—that don’t give you an emotional reaction when you read it. On the other hand, words like brave, gentle, fast…
These words create a visceral feeling. Whenever possible, pick words that get your reader to feel.
4. Great marketers create space for their reader to fill in the blanks with their own story.
When Nathan admits that the way he was raised might not have been the best, he creates space. He creates space for the reader to admit there might be a better way.
The use of “I think” softens his message because it invites you to reflect.
Notice the subtle difference in the way these two sentences are written:
Option A: “This way is different than the way I knew, but that way wasn’t healthy.”
Option B [Nathan’s actual sentence]: “This way is different than the way I knew, but I don’t think that way was healthy.”
The only difference in the sentence is a well-placed “I think.” It’s like all this was happening, and it dawned on Nathan that this might not have been the best way.
He could have been even more prescriptive. He could have said, “This way is different than the way I knew, but that way wasn’t healthy. We’re all adults now. We get to choose how we want to be and the environment we want to create for others.”
But that would have sounded like every other soapbox post. We’re used to seeing those… and used to ignoring them.
The unexpected tenderness is what made his post so effective.
5. Great stories create a visual so you can see the scene.
You imagine a kid puffing their chest and holding their breath and holding in all that fear.
Some grammar sticklers might say “internalizing it all in” is technically incorrect. But that doesn’t matter.
Always optimize for helping your audience feel. That overrides perfect grammar any day.