👉 Updated article here [November 2023] 👈

Your ability to answer questions well is a competitive advantage.

Given the number of times you are asked questions every day, this is a highly leveraged way to show your credibility.

When you think about “the question behind the question” (QBQ), you'll feel more confident answering questions. And your audience will feel more satisfied with your reply.

Why it matters

First, what does “the question behind the question” mean?

When a person asks you something, there's the surface question—but there is often a deeper layer.

It's usually something the other person is trying to uncover. It could be a deeper worry, concern, or curiosity.

Most of the time, it's subconscious. The person might not even know why your answer doesn't seem good enough.

If we assume positive intent, your audience isn't trying to deceive you. They're not asking one thing while secretly wanting to know something else.

But until you address the question behind the question, your audience won't feel like you fully answered their question.

How to address the question behind the question

Your colleague asks, “How is the project going? Is everything under control? Is there anything I should be aware of?”

Most people would simply answer a question at face value. But that's a missed opportunity. Instead, you should answer with the question behind the question in mind.

If you know the person

Your answer depends on a few factors: 

• What does this colleague usually focus on?

• What specific part would they most want to know about?

• What would make them feel reassured and safe?

For example, let’s say your colleague is a numbers person. They always want to see the data (numbers, percentages, logic, evidence). Your answers should include details they care about.

🚫 Bad reply: “Everything’s good. I’ve got it under control.”

This is too generic. Your coworker won’t believe you. They will keep asking until they can believe you. The exception is if they say “Awesome!” and seem thoroughly satisfied and convinced, then you can move on.

✅ Good reply: "Great question. I reviewed our numbers this morning. We’re tracking along to forecast exactly as expected. Based on our estimate, it should take 1-2 months to hit our KPIs. I’m monitoring the team's progress weekly and will flag if anything is off. If there's anything else I can pull up, let me know and I'm happy to dig into it."

This hits the bullseye because it’s tailored to your colleague’s concerns. It goes beyond their original question to answer the question behind the question (QBQ).

If you don’t know the person

When you don’t know a person well, it’s hard to know what they might care about and how to tailor your response.

You won’t always have the chance to ask for clarification, but you can always empathize. Then take your best guess as to what this person would find valuable.

Sometimes the question-asker doesn’t know how to articulate what they truly want to ask. Take the time to figure it out together. Probe to find out what their underlying question is. You might have to explain in different ways until you see their eyes light up.

Avoid never-ending back-and-forths

Here are signs there’s a deeper QBQ:

• You have to repeat yourself over and over

• There’s never-ending follow-up questions

• The person still looks skeptical or unsettled

• They ask weirdly specific questions that are not as relevant as they think

These are all signs that your original answer isn’t landing.

What should you do?

Don’t blindly engage in a never-ending back-and-forth. This is a huge drain of time and emotional labor.

Step back and think about what their true concern is. Don’t answer until you do this. Then answer the QBQ.

For example, they might be looking for reassurance, or more information about your product, or want to test how transparent you’ll be.

When you answer the question behind the question, both parties feel more satisfied. You feel good knowing you got to the root of a problem. The person asking the question will feel seen and heard. That's ultimately what we want when we engage with anyone.

Before you answer a question, think about the question behind the question. Take that into account when you formulate your answer.