The problem with glorifying failure
👉 Updated article here [October 2023] 👈
Startup culture glorifies failure.
We all know the quote from Thomas Edison: “I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”
What most people fail to mention is this quote works because Edison DID eventually find a way that worked.
He’s credited with inventing the first practical incandescent light bulb.
He has over 1,000 patents for his inventions.
He's described as America's greatest inventor.
In other words… HE WAS SUCCESSFUL.
With so much focus on “talk about your failures,” my fear is we’re going to have a bunch of people talking about failure when they are better off highlighting their successes.
Society doesn’t judge all failures equally.
If society judges some people more harshly for failure, then we need to be discerning about when we share stories of failure.
Failure should punctuate a strong track record
Rich person: “I struggled a lot. And now? I’m on top of the world.”
Conclusion: What a great rags to riches story! They made it to the other side. I can do it too.
Broke person: “I struggled a lot. Still struggling.”
Conclusion: Exact same words, but this time, it’s unclear if they will make it to the other side.
You hear a lot of successful people talk about how many times they failed. This works because they are currently talking from a position of success.
Stories of failure work when used sparingly to punctuate a record of success. When used in this way, you show you’ve been through tough times. You’ve overcome challenges. It gives you depth of character.
The audience thinks, “This person is successful. I want to invest in them, hire them, feature them, promote them.”
Aim for an overall pattern of being competent, then the occasional vulnerability shows you’re human.
Failure can be a pattern match or a pattern break
Pattern breaks are why Mark Zuckerberg can wear hoodies and sandals to work.
You and I probably shouldn’t.
We expect billionaires to wear blazers and Ferragamo shoes. But Zuckerberg chooses to look unkempt. He chooses to emphasize a pattern break.
This pattern break works because his face is recognizable enough that we know he’s a billionaire. His choice to wear T-shirts is perceived as ironic and bold. He can talk at LENGTH about his failures earlier in life because it’s obvious he’s one of the most financially successful people on earth.
But for everyone else, most of us still benefit from heuristics like a well-tailored blazer and washing our hair.
People like being on a team with competent people. If you have a job interview, focus 90% on what you did well and 10% on failures.
Timing matters. Beware of accidentally giving off insecure vibes.
Are you on the other side of the darkness—or still in it?
Everyone stumbles. This is a normal part of growing and gaining wisdom.
When you don’t feel at the top of your game, it’s better to emphasize what’s working well.
When we’re in the middle of a struggle, we might subconsciously give off vibes of insecurity. Subconsciously is the key word.
These insecure vibes do more harm than any misstep in what you say or how you say it.
Talking about success helps to counteract insecure vibes. It’s a reminder-to-self that you are smart, capable, resourceful.
The net result is you come across as confident.
To recap, talking about failure is totally okay as long as you’re strategic about it. It works best in small doses and as a pattern break.